WASP News

Following on from the popular FAQ post I thought it was time for a similar post with a slightly more cheerful tone……

1. The first time I went out as Suzanne I had a full change of male clothes in the car.  I carefully crafted a plausible cover story and Jane was fully briefed, although it is worth noting she may not have been listening because she was working hard to stifle her giggles. There was detailed contingency planning in place to manage the  various scenarios that I envisaged were likely. The stick on moustache in the glove box was not my finest moment, but it added a degree of realism to the back story.
2. When I emigrated from the UK, The Faith Shoes brand went bust. It is universally acknowledged by the top economists back in England that these two events are connected.
3.  I won a top prize from the English Lit. department at Bristol University for creative writing. I am a published author. I was also invited to write the foreword on an authoritative history of Italian Motorcycles.This is not really funny, until considered in the context of my High School English Teacher labelling me “An illiterate moron with limited capacity for learning beyond Janet and John Books.”
4. Given my sporting prowess and physique it may surprise a few people to learn that I managed to avoid every single games and PE lesson for the last 4 years of my school career. Figuring that my ability to absorb punches whilst practicing non violent resistance was at capacity I chose to secrete myself in the school computer room and learned the complex machine language of the RML 380Z.
5. I have a badge that I earned from a motorcycle club I used to belong to. It says “Capable of evading high speed pursuit !” I was young, foolish and quite handy with a GPZ90oR 🙂 I also moved 3 times in a 2 months just to be on the safe side.
6. I lived in a disabled toilet for a while. Whilst living in the disabled toilet, and upon reaching my 18th Birthday in the middle of a bloody cold UK winter. I was given a receipt by a friend of mine, I was warming up in a cafe over a cup of tea at the time and I was delighted to see him. He had been given the receipt by my Mother with the instruction to find me and pass it on. Upon presenting the receipt to the correct shop, I was given a smartly wrapped parcel. With a  card wishing me Happy 18th. The parcel contained just what every homeless 18 year old needs. A plastic  gold carriage clock with the simple message. “Happy 18th love Mum and Dad.”  I still have it. It serves as a good reminder of those days when I used to put it on the hand drier that kept me warm through the freezing cold nights.
7. My musical tastes are  predominantly classical, however when pushed (very gently) I will watch Xanadu.
8. I have watched Xanadu more than anyone else on the planet.
9. I was once hit by a Bus whilst photographing Buzz Aldrin.
10. Cliff Richard has an anecdote about me from the time when I was working in a Close Personal Protection capacity. Its not true.