Despite the recent set backs and health concerns, work on my transition continues, albeit slowly. If I am honest, the lack of progress bothers me immensely. Not just on my transition, but in all areas of my life. After an appalling start to 2016 I could do with a Pause Button, giving me chance to freeze frame the rest of the planet so I can get back on top of things.
As far as the transition goes, there is still much to do. Even before I make a start on the legal and paperwork aspects such as name changes and pronoun updates across my entire life, there are some more fundamental areas that require immediate attention.
The arrival of Charlotte the rescue dog is easing me back into the exercise regime that went out of the window when my PT left to go travelling. Its along way from ideal, but it is a start. The onset of cooler evenings may help with the motivation to get me back out into the “Gym” and back on the Spin Bike.
The fantastic team at the local Salon continue to keep my hair, nails and eyebrows in tip top shape. Its fun and they are remarkably accepting.
The change of my HRT regime seems to be settling down, however I am still not sleeping. I’m not sure if this is due to stress or a chemically induced situation. Last night I didn’t even manage 2 hours solid sleep, which is starting to worry me a little. There is also now some noticeable breast tissue development. At my last full week in the office in Perth, I chose to keep my Jacket on. It may have been 38 degrees, but I had a couple of very small, but very good reasons for doing so.
South West Counselling continue to be most supportive, delivering a service truly above and beyond. I don’t know what I ‘m going to do for them yet, but those guys deserve so much more than I am already giving them…..
One of the most encouraging recent developments has been the start of my voice training. I am working with an outstanding voice pathologist with special skills in Transgender voice development. That I found such a skilled practitioner in walking distance of home, here in Busselton is a source of great amazement and immense joy. Anna is a beautiful human being who completely understands me, my condition, and my journey, and whose approach is a to offer a “Total Emotional Release.”
I am now two sessions into the program Anna has developed for me and its challenging, but rewarding. The ultimate goal is to discover my “Authentic Voice.” A voice consistent with my post transition presentation and a voice that will be natural and not “forced.”
What I have learned so far is that the human voice production system is very fragile, but its also incredibly flexible. I’m practising the simple exercises daily, and even working on the more challenging one, when I am absolutely sure nobody is watching.
During the last session, after a couple of exercises, including some free movement I was amazed to hear, very briefly a new voice starting to emerge, it momentarily stunned me. This gave me a rare opportunity to feel positive about the future and I am working like crazy to hang onto that…..
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