WASP News

Today, seems like a good day for an annual review. Its my Birthday, so a quick and brutally honest  retrospective of the last 12 months seems like a splendid idea.

Transition – 

I am now a little more than 3 months into “Treatment”, the drug regime has been tweaked, and I am sure it will be tweaked again.

After an initial remarkable sense of well being for the first couple of weeks on treatment, things deteriorated rapidly. Since Mid December I have battled the most intense and severe depressions I have ever experienced. Suicide has looked like an attractive option on more occasions than I can count.

On a positive note, Physical changes have started, some more noticeable than others. An article I read recently suggested that passing  the 3 month (approx) milestone on HRT makes things a whole heap better.

Inside the last twelve months, I have also moved from tentative and scary midnight walks down deserted coastal paths with Jane, to daylight shopping in packed retail stores. This is surely one area where progress has been massive.

Health and Fitness

Early in December my PT left to go travelling, my exercise regime lasted maybe 10 days after her departure. The treadmill has not turned since then. This is a serious problem and in project speak its “Bright Red.” A plan to restore to “Green” does not yet exist.

My prostate condition is stable, despite the effort last year, my overall fitness level has returned to poor and I need urgent action to bring about a satisfactory outcome to the next round of Cardio tests scheduled for a couple of months time.

Family

Today Jane was upset. This outcome is for me the worst possible scenario. Exasperated by an overt demonstration of my  complete and total self loathing, she retreated to the Laundry room and cried. Upsetting Jane is the last thing I want to do. Fixing this issue has to be a priority.

In other news, Will is back at Uni, SJ is working hard and we have just enjoyed a great couple of days with her, here in Busselton.

The ripples from the recent passing of my Mother are sure to have impacts down the line. In the meantime, the UK branch of my family are now aware of my transition. I don’t see why it should have been a great surprise to any of them.

Triumph Restoration

Very little progress, but I was recently introduced to couple of contacts who may be able to help me source some parts.  Given that the Thunderbird is as much a part of this story as my transition, I really do need to make some progress here.

Emotional

I am in desperate need of some time to process recent events. My ability to focus and concentrate is suffering. A few days somewhere free of electronic fog is on the cards.

My two week relationship with the gorgeous, and highly excitable rescue dog ended rapidly and unexpectedly. It may be that the hormones are having an impact here, but I was seriously floored by the process of handing Charlotte back on Friday evening. A less than ideal outcome given the recent emotional battering I have taken, but it is done and I will deal with it,

Summary

Its obvious what I need to do and where I need to focus in the next three months.

• Exercise
• Lean less on Jane
• Work on improving my Self Esteem
• Restore my Concentration Levels
• Build Confidence when “out”

What is less obvious is how I fix some of this stuff. Answers on a postcard please.

There is a huge prize for anyone who can convince me (really convince me) That I am really not the abomination I believe, and that the world will not hate me for being who I am.

Thanks for reading.

Happy Birthday.