After our very first evening meal out I was assured “It Gets Easier.” I’m delighted to report that “Yes,” “It Does Get Easier”, and in my case that process took around 9 months. I’m not entirely sure if the recent burst of progress in this area is due to the ongoing therapy, medication, or just practice. Probably a large combination of the first two and smaller amount of the third has proven to be just the right ingredients for me to build the confidence I lacked and combat the anxiety that has controlled me for so long.
The counselling and support has been vital in encouraging me to embrace my truth, and not hide the reality of who I am. I have also begun to understand that I don’t need permission from the rest of the world to freely express myself.
In the last three weeks my transition has moved swiftly. I have dispensed with the uncomfortable and awkward to wear wigs and the prosthetic breast forms have been packed away. Authenticity is the new goal. The hormone induced physical changes are allowing me to feel significantly more comfortable in my own skin. It may sound odd, but I am becoming who I always have been.
Light exercise continues, and already I am feeling the benefits of eschewing the daily glasses of Red Wine, that I had been heavily leaning on since late last year. Timbo’s wardrobe, or what is left of it after Jane had a spring clean, is gathering dust as I embrace my freedom to wear what I wish all day and every day.
I’m going to dedicate this post to the incredible effort of my tireless partner, Jane (aka Wonder Woman) and all of the amazing people in my life who cared enough to keep tabs on me during a time when I failed to see a reason to continue.
As my recovery from this intense and serious bout of Mental Illness progresses, I am able to see how far I have come, which in turn reveals the depth to which I had sunk. Jane never complained, she never gave up, even when I was intent on heading out of the door to take one final ride, her support never wavered. It is simply not possible for me to comprehend the situation Jane was in whilst I struggled to outwardly maintain our life, as I steadily and consistently fell apart mentally, almost to the point of self destruction.
I’ve said it before, and doubtless it will be said again. Thank You. You know who you are, and I am glad you are there.
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