At the end of the working day yesterday, I joined around 150 colleagues, and three special guest speakers to celebrate one year of Unity….Unity being the LGBTI group sponsored by my employer.
See this post for last years event
Just like last year, I was also taking photographs for the Unity team to use for communications etc.
Unlike last year however, I was there as “My Whole Self.”
I have to be honest, there was something pretty special about taking part in this event “post transition.” Here was solid proof, not that it was needed, of the remarkable diversity and inclusion policies of the organisation I work for.
I was fairly busy during the course of the evening. Dashing around the room seeking out the photos we needed. This level of activity coupled with my usual anxiety caused me to develop a fairly heavy sweat, a fact that did not go unnoticed by a concerned female colleague who came to my rescue with tissues and a warm greeting.
We chatted for a little while, and I explained that my “glistening” was mostly due to a high level of anxiety. My colleague seemed genuinely perplexed, about this. “Why ?” was the question she posed a number of times, with an increasing amount of emphasis each time.
I felt that I really didn’t need to explain…I believe that you only need to look at me to understand the source of my anxiety, but my new found friend, didn’t agree.
What followed was a battle of wills, that I eventually lost, when I conceded that heading out for an evening drink in the centre of Perth was really the only option on offer.
I am so glad I did. What followed, provided the kick I have needed for some time.
The evening passed quickly in the company of some fantastic people. We laughed and joked, and eventually I began to relax. At which point my full attention was grabbed by the remarkable lady who had invited me out in the first place.
“Tell me why you are so shy ?” she implored.
Our eyes were locked, and noticed there was an intensity to her gaze that suggested this was a deadly serious question.
I responded, sharing with her the scale of my self loathing and I used the word, that I believe sums up my feelings best. “Grotesque”
Tears formed on both sides of the conversation as she told me, slowly, deliberately.
“I don’t see that. We don’t see that !”
“What do you see ?” seemed to be the obvious question.
“I see you. We see you, and its wonderful.”
I believe I may have made one more step towards self acceptance, and it really is wonderful.
Thank You !!!
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