A regular weekly update with a colleague at work this week turned into a very positive experience.
The colleague in question, is about to wind up his work with the Group and head off to begin in a new role, at a new organisation, so our chat was a little more relaxed than normal. Having finished off our discussion about the ups and downs of the various projects I am working on for the company at the moment, the conversation took a surprising turn.
He started by telling me that when he joined, and before our first meeting, a colleague had briefed him on the fact that I am Transgender. This, I am almost certain was new ground for him, and I suspect this message may have put him on the back foot.
He awkwardly, but sincerely, began to explain that he didn’t understand, and that he wasn’t sure what to expect when we met. He was genuinely struggling to find a way to articulate the questions he clearly wanted to ask. We chatted for a little while, and we discussed a number of topics relating to my transition. What he eventually went on to say, both delighted and surprised me.
“Its really not a problem at all, I just see you. Nothing else. A Woman, Suzanne, a Project Manager and another colleague.”
This thought has carried me through a difficult week that has seen me being verbally abused by a Thuggish Snob, who in a monologue of pure hate, wished death upon me, (from memory I think that’s twice this year by different people.)
With the end of the week in sight, I reasoned I had done quite well. However, I was reminded this evening never to let my guard drop when I was referred to as “A Fake Woman” by someone who really should have known better, but clearly doesn’t.
What is encouraging is that the sincerity, the pure honesty of the sentiment expressed to me in that little meeting room in a very large office, has stuck.
Of course, it’s not an instant fix, there is still much work to do, but for sure it was a breakthrough moment and I can’t let my colleague leave without him knowing just what a powerful message he shared.
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