WASP News

Shoes, wikipedia tells me, “Are an item of footwear intended to protect and comfort the human foot while the wearer is doing various activities.” 

What activities the designer of the shoe above had in mind, I can only guess, but it wasn’t riding motorcycles…Which begs the question, what activities did I have in mind when I bought them…..

There is no denying that I have a passion for the aesthetics of a really beautiful shoe. I feel the same about a well polished classic motorcycle, a fine Swiss watch on a Tan Leather strap, or the intricate brush work on a beautiful painting.  I appreciate beautiful things, and shoes, can be extremely beautiful. 

To me, the plain,  Red Suede, high  heeled Court Shoe (or Pump if you are Australian) above is a timeless, classic design, and despite being simple, is also decidedly beautiful in a relatively understated way.

So what activities was planning in this gorgeous heel……? I suspect, if I am completely honest,  that I imagined myself striding confidently into the Office, looking, feeling, and sounding fabulous (they make a lovely noise on a hard floor.) 

I’ve owned them for two years now, and removing them carefully from their box for the photo, is only the second time they have been liberated from their cardboard home. The first time being when I got them home to show Jane.

If I work harder to understand the motivation behind this, and many other similar purchases, the rationale  perhaps becomes a little clearer. I wasn’t just buying shoes. I was desperately trying to acquire the female qualities I lacked after burying Suzanne so deeply for so long. I was working overtime to assemble the image of grace and femininity that existed in my imagination, as a tangible reality. Surely a gorgeous pair of heels comes with feminine grace built in…

So why don’t I wear them ?

That answer is easy. FEAR. 

This Fear is easy to diagnose, but is it rational ? I really don’t know….. 

Of course the shoes don’t add anything magical….They accentuate existing qualities, they highlight rather than develop. They certainly don’t leave the factory with any special abilities..

With nothing to accentuate, the beautiful shoes would be lost on a sad, stumbling parody, a light year away from the elegance and grace I seek, and that is terrifying.

I’m still searching to work out how I fit into the world, and perhaps therein lies the solution to my shoe quandary.

These shoes demand that the wearer understands her place, knows her strengths and is proud to walk tall (and lets be realistic I would be quite tall) and that is an activity that I am not yet qualified for.