WASP News

Now the news of my impending transition is steadily working its way around I figured it made sense to add an FAQ…

1. “What About Jane ?”- This has been the number one question so far. Well, Jane is standing right beside me on this. Its really not a surprise for her, twenty odd years ago when we first started dating I shared with her that I did have some challenges around my gender identity and expression. Things have moved on and in the true spirit of a committed relationship Jane will remain my best friend, closest ally and most importantly, the driving force behind my progress.
2. “Tell me about the OP ?”  – This is another very popular question. Its also awkward, because no matter how well you know me, making  polite conversation about my genitals is never going to be easy. So we will leave it at that.
3. “Are you sure this is the right thing to do ?”  – Coming in at number three is another popular query. Its a very good question. Two Psychologists and a Psychiatrist and a couple of GPs are in agreement with me. For the long term good of my mental well being, yes, its the right thing to do.
4. “How long have you known ?” – As far back as I can remember, I have known that there is a difference between the way that I feel and the way that I look. This difference is gut wrenching, huge and powerful, this is not about putting on a dress and some lipstick and feeling happy. This is a lifelong experience of a complete disconnection between my inner self  and my physical form. Putting it bluntly it sucks, it’s hard to understand, it’s hard to explain, and it’s almost impossible to live with. Which is why close to fifty percent of people who share my experience attempt suicide.
5. “What about your name ?” –   Suzanne or one of its shorter versions has been in my head since childhood. Where it comes from I have no idea, but its there. It feels like it has always been there  and I have chosen to own it. Jane uses it and so do some of my closer friends. Names are fascinating. The relationship between the word, the sound, and the “thing” is really interesting.  I will cover off the Causal Theory of Names in a later post.
6. “But there is nothing feminine about you ?” – The truth hurts. For a more detailed response I should urge people to read Jung and his theory Anima / Animus .  I just hope I can control the  Animus and allow my self the space to  grow.
7. “But Why ? “- I am tempted to answer Determinism and move on.  Transitioning is not a decision I have made, it is an act of acceptance, rather than a decision.
8. “Can I feel your Boobs ?” – I don’t know ? Can I feel yours ? Next question…
9. “Do your children know ?” – My Daughter steals my shoes, my Son when he is not studying, plays video games. He only recently noticed that we have moved to Australia, despite this happening  7 years ago. When he arrived home from Uni in December I greeted him in a full length  gown in Scarlet Satin with opera length gloves and a Tiara, “Have you had your hair cut Dad ? You look different….” Yes my children know. Yes they understand. No, they are not embarrassed.
10.  “Is there anything I can do to help ?” – Ninety nine percent of people who have spoken to me, have told me how brave they think I am. They think I am brave because they did not see me chatting on the big white porcelain telephone in the minutes before I returned to work last week. Is there anything you can do to help ? If you asked this  question, you already helped. As Epicurus tells us “It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us as much as the confidence we have, that they will help us.”