“I told you I was Ill” This poignant, yet funny epitaph Spike Milligan chose for his headstone still makes me smile. There are some people on this planet, to whom I would dearly love to say of my Gender Incongruence “I told you it was real.”
Several years ago, whilst still struggling with my gender identity issues, I read a paper, about some research that was being undertaken on brains. The research suggested that there was indeed some differences in the structure of Male and Female brains, but the only real way to establish this was after death, when the Brain would be reduced to a number of incredibly thin, wafer like slices that when analysed, showed the structural differences.
I don’t remember the exact conversation, but I definitely suggested to Jane that I would leave instructions for that process to be undertaken, so I could have a Post Mortem, Spike Milliaganesque “I told you so moment.”
This morning I read another article under the the headline of :-
“Imaging studies and other research suggest that there is a biological basis for transgender identity.”
The conclusion :-
” Overall the weight of these studies and others points strongly toward a biological basis for gender dysphoria. But given the variety of transgender people and the variation in the brains of men and women generally, it will be a long time, if ever, before a doctor can do a brain scan on a child and say, “Yes, this child is trans.” “
This conclusion is less than concrete, but it still offers hope. Hope that my experience is based on a biological reality and hope that one day I will have a very real possibility of explaining exactly why I feel like I do.
It may well be too late to give this message to the people I really want to understand my condition. Over the last ten days I have been shown almost universal acceptance. It could also be that the time has come for me to accept something I have been fighting for a lifetime, because I am beginning to think apart from a few ignorant souls who probably wouldn’t listen anyway, it really is myself I am trying to satisfy with a scientific explanation.
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