WASP News

Around  eighteen or so months ago, I reached a moment  in my life where I truly did not know what to do next. The situation required immediate action. On the back of some fairly serious health issues of my own, I was experiencing a crescendo of grief, vaguely  reminiscent of the car chase sequence in the Blues Brothers movie. In that sequence a seemingly endless number of cars relentlessly crash into an already huge mountain of twisted metal. It was not pretty, and it was how my life felt.

My response, after a gentle nudge or two from some concerned colleagues, was to engage the services of the “Employee Assistance Program” offered by my employer.

The end result of a single fairly easy phone call, was a series of conversations with a group of people who wanted to help. They provided much needed support and guidance. Its probably fair to say that South West Counselling are the Mid Wives to the delivery of Suzanne.

Today with a different, but equally compassionate lady to listen to my story,  the journey continued.

After some brief introductions, in which I shared my sense of self loathing and picked some choice words to describe how I felt about myself, I was encouraged to carry out some  time travel…..

We went back in time to meet a young me.  It was not difficult to imagine. I saw the younger version of myself  very clearly. What happened next stunned me, and I’m still reeling from it.

“Now hold his hand and tell him what you think of him, tell him he is worthless and wretched, use those same words.” was the clear instruction.

There was an instant, and dramatic  emotional response, followed by a feeling that it was just not possible to say those words.

What young me needed was a warm hug and message…..

“Its all ok. You’re not a freak. Be yourself, and hang onto that nocturnal wish. Even though you don’t know it yet,  there really are people who care, and lots of them. Its tough at the moment, but it gets better. Stick with it. One day you even get Ballet Lessons.”

Its a message I didn’t get then. But I got it today, and its more important than ever.

Thank you,