WASP News

Not long after Jane and I started dating we embarked on a bit of a road trip across the UK in her little Nissan.

Two things are essential for a Car road trip. A car, and a box of Rowntrees fruit gums.

It was on one of two Rowntrees fruit gums ( I liked an Orange / Lemon combo)  that I began choking on  whilst bouncing around in the passenger seat on a rural road into Wales.

This was not a casual cough cough and then “ooohhh” that was a bit scary choking. This was a proper, when I tried to breathe in I could feel the offending Fruit gum being forced further into small hole choking thing.

Not ideal when whizzing down a country lane in a little Nissan.

I have no idea how long it took before Jane stopped the car and ran round to the passenger side to extract me, but it felt like a while. Long enough is a conservative estimate, and too bloody long  was my personal opinion at the time.

I fell out of the car as soon as the door was opened. In my mind I was finished. My own efforts of intense coughing had failed to lodge the sticky, gummy mass.  Jane demonstrating impressive calm, and supreme skill executed a perfect Heimlich manoeuvre, producing, not one, but two rather sorry looking Fruit Gums.

She saved me.

It could be I am counting on her saving me again. Right now I’m in need of a metaphysical Heimlich. I’m not sure what it is, but something is hampering my ability to breathe, and its starting to win.