Step 1 – Get Ready
Step 2 – Look in mirror
Step 3 – I can’t do it
Step 4 – Take counsel from partner, ok maybe I can do it
Step 5 – Go Out
Step 6 – Come back
Step 7 – Look in mirror and realise people just saw me looking like that
Step 8 – Hunt for 12 gauge or other suitable means of relieving crushing sense of worthlessness and realisation that the future is improbably bleak
Step 9 – Hope that feelings of worthlessness subside before I find the motivation or means
(I’m currently at 9)
Step 7: SURVIVED! Well done, Suzanne! Try and find some pride in what you achieved today, it was a courageous and successful step. Anyone who saw you would have seen a lovely lady going about her business. Be proud of yourself!
Thats a good point. I made it home to meet the lovely artist and her outstanding work.
I really wish I didn’t care so much, about what random strangers think. Worrying about how people perceive me when I am out consumes me, it becomes my sole focus. I become hypersensitive and unable to exist outside of the imagined hatred and fear of me, that I project onto the people I am around. This is hard work, no wonder I get a bit cranky after an hour and a half of being out.
I wish there was a like button!!!!!
Ask yourself this. Why does it matter what thry think? If thry have s problrm sod em.
Suzanne, I’m struggling to say something profound here and failing. I’ve always been a confident bloke and am amazed at what I now call “catholic” guilt. This syndrome is primarily observed in female ex-students of catholic schools that were taught by the nuns. The major symptoms are an incredible lack of self worth, an obsession with what other people think and believe that they will get in trouble for anything they do. You weren’t taught by the nuns were you?
To give advice is easy, so here goes.
You need to focus on why you are doing this and the benefits of the change you are going through. You are doing this for your well being and not to engender popular opinion. Who gives a shit about what people think. This is about YOU not anybody else, if you feel well about yourself and the way you look, then that’s enough.
Graeme
Not Nuns, but seriously angry parents borrowing heavily from prehistoric dogma and mixed with regular violence and persistent verbal abuse. Thanks for reading, look us up when you are passing through.
You do eventually stop thinking about what others think. My mantra. What other people think of me is none of my business.
I do love that mantra Kimberly. Just remember all these said people Suzanne that just saw you looking ‘like that’ all have their own stories and unsecurities too, they might not be as big as yours are right now but they’ll have them.
I was thinking we could start a posse and accompany you when you go out, we could be called ‘the real ladies of Busselton’ and people would want to join our group because we all exude happiness and genuine care for each other. I have just visualised it and it did make me smile.
I hope your weekend gets better and I too am glad you survived, and continue to get through these moments.
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