Wednesday afternoon was a huge day for me. In front of well in excess of a hundred of my team mates at the Bank, I shared little more about my ongoing transition. I also touched on the next steps in the journey, as well as covering some of the challenges I have encountered before reaching this point.
I’m going to admit, that as I took the few short steps from the stage, back to my table I briefly felt proud. The entire team, as far as I could see were on their feet and applauding enthusiastically. Mixed with the Pride was a hefty dose of empathy, with those colleagues that I could see, who had clearly been touched by my story.
Since Wednesday, there has been a steady decline into a more normal state of Shame and Worthlessness and a desire to permanently liberate myself from what, in my darkest moments, appears to be a futile pursuit.
There are still bright beacons of hope. My amazing family, my very dear friends, random individuals who know of my journey, and professionals from the team of people supporting my transition. All of whom seem unwilling to give up on me, despite the fact that my personal prognosis is hopeless.
Between me, and my goal of full time transition is just one hurdle. Self Acceptance. That is all.
Everyone around me is doing a remarkable job. Above and beyond any expectations. If I don’t clear that hurdle, the only person to have failed will be me.
To the vital components of my incredibly solid bridge I would like to say “Thanks for your efforts so far.”
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