WASP News

I am struggling to articulate the enormity of the progress made this week.

Probably a good starting point would be a quote from one of my friends offering some support and encouragement to get me over the threshold and into our favourite local bar. I’m going to be honest it wasn’t the kind of gentle coaxing that I expected on a girls night out. “Get the Fuck In There !!!!”  was  almost barked at me, as I hovered nervously on the threshold of taking Suzanne into a completely new environment for the first time. I wasn’t about to argue, and I’m glad I didn’t.  Thank you Dee !

Despite resisting for my entire adult life, this week I caved in and collected a script for Anti Depressants. I am tired of fighting the almost constant images of suicide that have been polluting my consciousness for months. Another huge step, and one I am not yet completely happy about.

At my latest Voice Coaching session, I felt like there was a real breakthrough. I still have much work to do. But Suzanne is definitely finding her voice.

The support that literally flooded in following the broadcast of “Becoming Suzanne”  provided a huge boost. There is already great feedback arriving at the Radio station, for whom this broadcast was an unusual departure from their normal programming.

The intensity of professional support from my Medical, Psych,  and Counselling team is also worth mentioning. I don’t always like what I hear from these people, and sometimes its fair to say I think I know best. This is what happens when my internal model of reality is distorted  by depression.

Finally I have to acknowledge the most remarkable degree of acceptance from a group of ladies I met for the first time this week…

When I purchased our fantastic sewing / embroidery machine there was talk of lessons, classes and much fun and games in the shop getting to grips with the machine. After much deliberation, and a significant degree of checking and rechecking with the hosts, I joined the “Dream Machine Sewing Group” in Bunbury for a 5 hour stint of sewing education. There was I believe, not one single moment of doubt from any of the seven other ladies present that I didn’t fit in completely. It was for me possibly the  most positive experience that I have had since I started presenting as Suzanne. I remain deeply grateful to the hosts, organisers and participants for facilitating such a fantastic experience.  Despite my anxiety, I was eventually able to relax a little, and I even began to enjoy participating the friendly banter that ran alongside the gentle instruction on the project. It was over all to quickly, and as we packed the machines away, there were a few comments of  “Hope to see you next time Suzanne.” I’m almost convinced that they meant it too……Thats real progress.