Knock Knock
Whose there ?
Its your self loathing, I’ve noticed you’ve been trying to ignore me lately….I’m still here…..I figured I’d hang around today and chat. By the way have you noticed how many chins you are rocking these days…Check them out. Impressive. Maybe count them up and use the number in your lottery tickets.
On a separate note, I love those dresses you bought at the weekend whilst you were avoiding me, they look great hanging up, maybe keep them there, why spoil them by putting them on and trying to look nice because you know that’s not going to work.
How are you feeling now the medication is sorted ? I’ts good to have some balance back in your life after all that chemical chaos ! I’m sure you are feeling better, but don’t worry, you will still be completely unable to do anything meaningful because you are an essentially hopeless human.
I like you of course, but you and I have been friends all your life. It’s fortunate that I am here to keep you company because everybody else thinks you are ever so slightly strange, and a rather tedious bore.
I see You’re getting your hair done today, good work, keep trying, keep being positive because it will help you feel better in those moments when you forget the true horror of your wretched existence.
Right, I better dash off and let you work out how best to approach getting out of your front door despite your simply abysmal appearance. Good Luck, Have a great day, I’ll be back later to tell you how bad your day was……
Ciao for now……
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