WASP News

Over the years Jane and I have had various relationships with Builders. When I say Builders I am lumping together all the tradespeople necessary to fix, maintain and restore a domestic dwelling. We’ve never actually built a house, probably because for a large number of years we lived in the UK, where the whole property market is very different, and building your own home is uncommon.

In all but a few of these interactions with hazardous, half witted, ham fisted, demolition experts masquerading as construction professionals, , we have experienced serious challenges. For example, my first experience with an Australian Plumber a couple of years ago went something like this…..

Monday I called the plumber and requested a call out.

Tuesday I got a call back and was told the Plumber would be with us on Wednesday afternoon.

It was Friday afternoon at 4:00  before  the Plumber turned up. He asked to borrow my ladder, upon which he ascended no more than 4 rungs to look at the system, before announcing “Its Shot Mate”

He descended the ladder, picked it up and set off towards his van. I reminded him gently, that he had in actual fact only borrowed my Ladder, and he was welcome to put it back where it came from.

Four days later I get an invoice for $98.00 

The builders who were engaged to fully rebuild the lower floor of  our flooded property in the UK provided us with some real entertainment…

There was a carpenter who didn’t own a traditional saw. Every single piece of wood he cut, he used an electric drop saw. When I asked him why that was, he replied “I’m hopeless with normal Saws, I wish I could use one though…!”

Then there was a plasterer who threatened to thump me for complaining about his best friend  the Plumber. My complaint was sort of justified, when I realised that I could no longer open the kitchen door, because in a moment of pure genius and an attempt to save copper pipe,  the cranially challenged pipe butcher ran the central heating pipes along the door frame….(No I’m not joking)

Either we have been extremely unlucky, or lots of builders operate in a very dubious fashion.

My latest interaction is the source of immense frustration. Not only did the clown that arrived on my rooftop masquerading as Plumber attempt to block off a vital vent pipe, which would have been explosive once we lit our fire, He subsequently announced  “Yeahh, I reckon I’ve got my head round this system now, hopefully I can make it work.” Shortly before announcing it was too unsafe to continue working on my roof, discreetly loading his van up with the parts I had spent sometime removing, and starting to repair and disappearing. This selfish action preventing me from finishing the job myself, saving us the hassle of dealing with him and his invisible counterpart that my insurance company are paying for…..

In the meantime a couple of decent souls have provided us with an Oasis of warm water and freshness just a few minutes from home. Thank You <3