One of my initial concerns when I commenced this journey was that I would be unable continue my employment.
Over the last few weeks, this worry has crystallised and become far more tangible.
The company I work for is marching towards a new method of working, a complete overhaul of the structure of the entire organisation. This in itself is not particularly worrying, in fact, being so close to such an immense change is fascinating from a professional point of view. But there is a growing sense of unease amongst some of my colleagues, and I am not immune to rumours and speculation. I know there will be redundancies.
When I couple this knowledge, with a couple of worrying comments from my General Manager a few months ago, allied to a perceived break down in that relationship. I begin to descend into a spiral of Panic.
The fact that I remote work is also a huge concern. What I know of the new structure, would seem to suggest that proximity to colleagues is a pre-requisite for success. Not ideal when I live three hours drive from the office. Overall the situation does not look promising.
I am no stranger to Job Hunting, but Job Hunting as Suzanne, this is a simply terrifying prospect.
Over the last few weeks during the Same Sex Marriage Survey (it’s not a Vote) it has become obvious just how much animosity there is towards the LGBTI community. We may be heading for a Yes Vote, but that there has been some vitriolic messages from the NO side cannot be ignored.
Heading into a Slow Job Market as a 50 Year old Transgender person starts to feel just a little bit scary.
Organisations can fly a Rainbow Flag, but that is no guarantee that prejudice does not hide in the processes. I know this to be true. A few years ago at a company in the UK that will remain nameless, I was tasked with hiring some IT Talent for a large scale project. I was called to the Project Sponsors office, and informed he would only sign off on my choice of hires, if the candidates were in the W.A.S.P category. (Google it) I was stunned. Racism in action, and not so very long ago. All this at a Company that was once a Government Department.
Statistically speaking the odds are not in my favour. Transgender people are more likely to become, and remain unemployed.
What this means is, that to land a job, not only do I have to shine above the other candidates, I have to hope that unconscious bias, prejudice and just plain old bigotry do not factor in the equation.
At fifty years old I have to face the very real possibility that I am potentially unemployable
Of course this is all speculation, fuelled by an internal monologue that assumes the worse possible scenario, but it all makes a great deal of sense.
I may need to reinvent myself, but I’m not sure yet what the demand for a freelance Existential Philosopher is going to be in WA.
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